Attorney
Co-parenting is challenging at any time of the year, but the holiday season brings a unique set of pressures. There’s a lot on the line between family events, presents, and traditions. Whether you’re new to co-parenting or have a few holiday seasons under your belt, these tips can help make things smoother for everyone involved – especially the kids.
Start with a Plan, But Stay Flexible
One of the best ways to keep holiday stress at bay is by creating a clear plan for who has the kids and when. This could mean splitting days, alternating years, or working out a schedule prioritizing the kids’ needs. But remember, plans can change. Maybe your ex wants to take the kids to Grandma’s on Christmas Eve, but that wasn’t part of the original agreement. If it works for everyone, consider being flexible. Giving each other grace during the holidays can make all the difference.
Put the Kids First
The holidays are about creating joy and memories for your kids, so keep their happiness at the forefront. Avoid venting frustrations about the other parent in front of them, and try not to make them choose between you. Instead, remind them how lucky they are to have two families who love them and want them to have the best holiday possible.
Communicate Early and Often
Communication is key to any successful co-parenting relationship. Talk about things well beforehand so you’re both on the same page. Confirm the details a few weeks in advance if you’ve agreed to split the holiday time. And if last-minute plans come up, communicate! A quick text can avoid a whole lot of confusion.
Celebrate Traditions in New Ways
If the idea of holidays without your kids feels tough, find creative ways to celebrate. Who says you can’t have two Christmases or two New Year’s Eve parties? If you don’t have the kids on the 25th, make the 24th your family’s special day. Having “double” holidays can be just as fun for the kids, and you might even create some fun family traditions along the way!
Be Open to Blended Family Celebrations
Blended family celebrations can be a fun option if everyone gets along well. If your relationship with your co-parent is friendly enough, consider spending part of the holiday together with the kids. While it may not be practical for everyone, this experience can be truly transformative and rewarding for those who can take it on. Remember, though, there’s no pressure – stick with what feels comfortable.
Manage Expectations
Holidays have a way of turning us all into perfectionists. We imagine perfect gatherings, happy kids, and everyone getting along. The truth? Things won’t always go perfectly. Kids might feel emotional, schedules might shift, and tensions might flare up. Be realistic with yourself and others about what to expect, and be ready to go with the flow.
Seek Support When Needed
If co-parenting conflicts make things tense or difficult, don’t hesitate to ask for support. Whether it’s talking to a friend, consulting a therapist, or joining a local co-parenting group, having a support system can make a huge difference. You don’t have to handle everything on your own!
Contact Berkley Oliver for Help with Your Co-Parenting Plan
Co-parenting during the holidays doesn’t have to be a season of stress. With thoughtful planning, open communication, and a willingness to be flexible, you can make this time of year work for everyone.
At Berkley Oliver, we understand the challenges co-parents face, especially during the holiday season. We’re here to help you with co-parenting agreements so your holiday transition can go smoothly and be enjoyable. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.